It’s Not Personal
Reprinted from the July, 2009 BMW Owners News, with permission of the BMW MOA and Dr. Gary FInk
By Steve Hymes #61604
Creating positive roadway behavior
We riders notice the friction , hostility, aggressiveness, and general grumpiness of most of the people on the roads. We hate the way other vehicles treat us, disrespectfully encroaching on our space. We even refer to them as “cages.” But what if we recognized that there are people controlling every one of these other vehicles, and those people have real emotional reasons for their behavior? Without knowing their mental state, do we expect those people to accommodate us? Let’s examine that thinking and see if that might be unsafe,as well as unrealistic and selfish.
Motorcyclists are used to waving at other motorcyclists. Why? Could it be because it’s our realization of what we share with another rider, who we recognize as some type of kin? We tend to not to cut off fellow riders, or otherwise mistreat our fellow motorcyclists; rather, we try to support them, and help them stay safe.
Could we not treat every person on the road the same way? With our superior maneuverability, competent skills, and situational- awareness, we are in the strongest position to affect everyone on the road around us. If we are courteous to another road user, does it really cost us anything? We know that it doesn’t, and that our respectful behavior will leave them feeling better about their situation, and about others— especially motorcyclists! That benevolent feeling we can generate in other roadway-users has a good chance of carrying over to the next time they are in a position to affect someone else on the road. If that other person is a motorcyclist, then we’ve helped our community of riders. We may well be the recipient of that extended caring and supportive treatment. Here’s the key issue; the first step in creating a new culture of positive roadway behavior starts with me and you!
David L. Hough and others have written that our acceptance of the reality of life on the road, both in general and specific instances, as well as holding a positive “can do” attitude, significantly increases our chances of survival. We can cultivate an awareness of our feelings and attitudes regarding riding, and the specific circumstance we might be in, both positive and negative, and then prevent these emotional inputs from affecting our riding. Then we can neutralize any marginal situations, and keep them from turning into a hostile, “Let’s bite the motorcyclist,” occurrence. Can you thus ‘step outside of yourself,’ and maintain greater situational awareness? Perhaps this is one way that you can directly increase your odds of staying safe.
Risk homeostasis theory documents how humans move toward riskier behavior as their lives become safer. It is as if we have an innate level of desired-risk necessary for our happiness. So, as roads and vehicles get safer, the way we use them often can become more risky. In our increasingly fragmented society, regarding all those anonymous highway users near us as being of no consequence to us often leads to uncaring and selfish (i.e. riskier) actions. Network and traffic researchers find that as drivers seek the shortest route to a destination, collective traffic eventually reaches what is known as the Nash Equilibrium. At this point, no driver can do any better unilaterally, but by acting in an unselfish manner, coordinating their individual movements to benefit the entire group, they and surrounding traffic, move up to 30% more efficiently.*
Remember: It’s not personal! Get over yourself for a minute; recognize that another person is perhaps having a bad day. They might be acting out their unhappiness without even being aware they are dong this, much less of you. Congratulate yourself for avoiding a bad situation. Realize that they are a danger to others around them. Don’t allow yourself to get mad, but rather, get safe! Show compassion: Do what you can to keep yourself safe, and help them along their way. Usually, this means getting further away from a disruptive driver, something we know how to do well, and we usually enjoy doing it! Then, congratulate yourself for those hours of practicing your riding skills. As I get older, I find I want to save my aggressiveness, and spend it on attacking corners, rather than forcing my way through traffic. I find positive ways to maximize my progress without angering others on the road.
Some moto-philosophy: Every moment and experience has four integrally-connected components. Individual thought and emotion, individual experience, cultural learned norms and behaviors, and societal structure make up these components. So every time we’re in a situation while riding, all of these components are at play. We can turn those effects to a positive effect and improve our lives, as well as those of our highway neighbors. I’m all for more happiness and more fun riding!
If we want safer and more enjoyable riding and friendlier roads, it becomes our responsibility to make that happen. When we accept our responsibilities, we also need the realization that we have the power to make it happen. It is very powerful to realize that the control over our lives lies within us, not in anything external. That gives us a means of changing our riding experiences into something more consistently positive.
* (“The Price of Anarchy in Transportation Networks”, Gastner, Physical Review Letters, 9/08.)
Steve Hymes is an active MSF-Certified Rider- Coach living in Colorado. Steve has facilitated BMW MOA Foundation RiderCourses at our International Rallies and regional events.
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